Love, Compassion, and Honor

Our family just returned from spending a few days in Sedona, Arizona.  The weather was beautiful.  The views breathtaking.  While there, I actively worked on being thankful, appreciative, centered, and at peace. I promised myself that my focus through the holiday season and beyond would be gratitude, compassion, honor, and love.

We flew home on Thanksgiving night, planning to celebrate the holiday on Friday. My son Liam from Pittsburgh  was not able to be with the rest of us in Sedona,  but he would join us at our family gathering in Batavia.

Our Thanksgiving table was beautifully set. All six of us worked together in the kitchen to prepare the meal.  The aroma of the turkey and pumpkin lingered heavily in the air.  It felt as though it was going to be a perfect family day.  It was good to be home.

I had invited a dear young friend of mine, Melanie, to come to our Thanksgiving celebration.  She accepted. We were delighted to have her at our table.  After dinner, it was time for my daughter  Lizzy (a high school cheerleader) to head to the basketball game to cheer.  Melanie's beautiful black Lexus was parked in the street just off the driveway.  (If at this moment , you're getting that sick feeling in your stomach, you would be right on!)  Lizzy promptly backed into that beautiful Lexus. Our perfect day had abruptly come to an end.

Our dining table is right in the front window of our home. I remembered thinking to myself, "I should go outside to be sure that Lizzy makes it out of the driveway without hitting Mel's car."  Just as I finished that thought and rose to make my way outside, the two cars became one. My blood pressure hit tilt. My practice of peace, compassion, honor ... went right out the window.

Lizzy, knowing that she had made a judgment error, was shaking and sobbing from head to toe when she got out of the car to assess the damage. In the same moment, Melanie went to Lizzy and displayed incredible grace and kindness. She kept reiterating to Lizzy that this was a "thing" that could be fixed--no one was hurt--and that was what was so important.  She said these things at the same time that she hugged my daughter tightly in her arms.

As I watched this, I was truly amazed at this young woman's understanding and care and compassion towards another human being.  I know Mel loved that beautiful car, but her priority was to help Lizzy know that she had made a mistake, that it was an accident--not fatal, and that this moment would pass. Imagine the learning that happened for Lizzy.  Here was another woman whom she does not know well, consoling her.  Certainly Mel could have made the choice to lecture or reprimand her, but she did not make that choice. She chose instead to help Lizzy keep her honor and dignity in tact, and modeled behavior which I am sure that Lizzy will forever hold in her heart.

It was a really good lesson for me.  I can be eruptive and react beyond what is necessary (or healthy) in situations that are clearly "not fatal."  Melanie helped put the feelings of love, compassion, and honor that I so desperately wanted to carry in my heart from Sedona into real life actions.

I then came across this  Ojibwa Prayer, "Teach us love , compassion, and honor ... that we may heal the earth...and heal each other."

In this "classroom" of lived experience, are there places in your life where you might actively practice love, compassion, and honor? Certainly for myself there are. In this season of thanksgiving, I am incredibly grateful for the lesson.


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